he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
