why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
