my vag is so smooth its legendary
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
