I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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