Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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