my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
