You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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