it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
