hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
