Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
