is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Just cropdusted the office
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize