Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
