At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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