who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
