He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize