When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
