I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize
