i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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