Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
