I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Randomize
