Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
