That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
