that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I can't put those talents on a resume
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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