There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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