I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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