She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
