Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
That's intense
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize