I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
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