Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
