If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just gift wrapped bread.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
