I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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