You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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