we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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