She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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