Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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