I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
My ass is underappreciated
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize