Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
