i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Four minutes until I can fart!
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
