i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
He has the fingertips of a God
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
