I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
