If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
