Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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