The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
