Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
