I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
