so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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