I think I won the penis lottery.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
