I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
