Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
