i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
