theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
