If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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