the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Randomize
