i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
