if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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