Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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