There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
